Miscellany and Trivia

A child and his father were visiting an elderly neighbor. They were raking the neighbor’s leaves, organizing the neighbor’s garage, putting the trash out, and performing other small jobs around the neighbor’s house. The child had not really seen the elderly neighbor up close, but on this day the child was going to meet the neighbor up close for the first time. When the child met the neighbor up close he asked the neighbor how old he was, and the father was flabbergasted by his child’s question and attempted to apologize to the neighbor, but the neighbor laughed and said that was ok, the child is curious. The elderly neighbor told the child he was 92 years old. The child had a look of unbelief and asked the neighbor, “Did you start at the number one?”

Lesson: Actually, everybody starts before the number one.

One day two frogs were hopping in and out of a watering hole and accidentally hopped in an extremely deep hole. They tried to leap out, but to no avail had no success, so they began to yell and croak until other frogs heard them and came to help. The other frogs looked over into the hole and said the hole was too deep for them to help, but both frogs kept leaping up the sides of the hole. The other frogs, leaning over the hole and waving their front legs, began to yell to the frogs to just give up and die and that there was no hope of them getting out of the hole, but both frogs kept leaping and trying to get out of the hole. They leaped for hours and one of the frogs just gave up he was so exhausted and died. The other frog in the hole kept leaping, but the other frogs, leaning over the hole, kept yelling and waving their front legs for him to stop and give up, but the frog kept leaping trying to get out of the hole. Finally, the frog leaped so high that he was able to leap to the top of the hole and used his back legs to push himself up out of the hole. The other frogs said even though we told you to give up that there was no hope of you getting out of the hole you kept leaping. The frog that got out of the hole thanked the other frogs for egging him on - the other frogs didn’t know that this frog was deaf.

Lesson: Sometimes you have to turn a “deaf ear” to what others tell you is impossible.

A mother was seeing her 8-year-old son off to school one morning. She walked him to the bus stop where they waited patiently; the bus came and her son got on the school bus. The mother proceeded to go home so she could get ready to go to work. About 15 minutes later the doorbell rang and it was her son at the front door. She was shocked to see him since she just got him on the school bus, then she noticed the school bus with its door open, in front of her house. The mother asked her son, “What are you doing back home?” Her 8-year-old son said, “I’m quitting school, it's too hard, it’s too boring, and it’s too long.” The mother looked at him and said, “That's life, now get back on the bus.”

Lesson: Experiences of life touch all no matter how young or how old.

When I was a nanny in college, I babysat for a family with a little boy and a little girl. While the boy was in school one day, I was home with his little sister, Abigail. Abigail was watching me cook in the kitchen; she was on the kitchen floor with her blanket. Abigail was cute as a button and said the funniest things, but this day proved to be a real doozie. Abigail called my name and told me that, “my toilets at my house were bigger than the toilets at her house.” I asked her why would she think that. She said, “Miss Kris, your tushy is bigger than my tushy.” Translation, because my rear end was bigger than hers, the toilets at my house have to be huge.

Lesson: Don't have children watch you cook in the kitchen - LOL!

A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player. Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, the conductor took a moment to thank the oboist for her faithful attendance. She, of course, humbly responded “It's the least I could do, since I won't be at the performance.” 

A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor. “I’m sorry, he’s dead,” comes the reply. 

The musician calls back 25 times, always getting the same reply from the receptionist. At last she asks him why he keeps calling. “I just like to hear you say it.” 

One day, a tuba player wanted to torture the drummer behind him, so he hid one of the drummer’s sticks. After looking around for a few minutes, with a frantic, wide-eyed expression, the drummer fell to his knees, flung his arms wide, and screamed to heaven: “Finally! The miracle, after all these years! I’m a Conductor!” 

The orchestra conductor had become ill just 15 minutes before the concert was to begin. The manager asked around if anybody could conduct the evening's program and was delighted when the second cellist volunteered. The cellist knew all the works and didn't even need a score for Brahms’ third. At the end of the concert the orchestra was pleased, the manager was pleased, and they ended up asking the cellist to conduct for the next three weeks while the regular maestro recuperated from an emergency appendectomy. The three weeks went by quickly and soon the maestro was back on the podium. When the second cellist took his customary seat beside the violas, Sam, the principal violist, leaned over to him and asked, “Where the hell have you been for the last three weeks?”