Kenneth Small – USA
YOU are the eyes of the world
Longchenpa
Deep Silence, the Angry Yak and YOU: The Tibetan Monk’s retreat, cutting Through our Fear, Anxiety, Anger and Delusion
An angry Yak ....
Dream, Illusion, Release, Transformation – Northern India 1970’s*
The Tibetan monk had prepared diligently for years, cultivating his meditation and spiritual practices for the upcoming retreat. It would be a solitary, silent retreat in total darkness guided by an elder Lama with much experience who knew him well. This type of retreat is designed to push through obscurations deep within our psyche. He felt confident, perhaps a little overly confident. He noted a subtle apprehension combined with excitement which he dismissed. The old Lama would guide him well with his calm support and the monk felt confident.
The first few days of the retreat went smoothly. He engaged in his daily meditation practices and maintained a consistent schedule, which was essential. Once a day he also could check in with the old Lama. There was a pipe that led to the outside through a circuitous route so no light would enter. Through this pipe, his tethered lifeline, he could talk and consult with his mentor once a day.
Meals would be passed in and out in the silent darkness as well. More days passed by effortlessly. Silence deepened with day and night becoming timeless with waking and dreaming converging. What is ‘real’ and ‘illusion’? He maintained his daily routine. Then, one day, he awoke suddenly startled by loud snorting and stomping noises close by. He was shocked, somehow a wild Yak had gotten inside his retreat cabin! He saw directly in front of him a ferocious, angry wild Yak, ready to attack him. He could feel its warm breath on his face and was terrified the Yak would impale him with its big horns. In a total panic, he reached over slowly to call out through the pipe to the old Lama for urgent advice. Outside, other monks heard his desperate pleas for help and called the old Lama over to attend to the emergency. He quickly came over to listen to the monk on retreat. Pleadingly the monk said to the Old Lama: ‘There is a wild angry Yak inside here …I am afraid it will kill me at any moment, what can I do?’ The old Lama calmly replied, ‘There is no danger, just follow my directions.’ … ‘I will push a thin rope through the pipe to you. Tell me when you have it in your hand.’ The old Lama, keeping hold of one end of the rope in his hand, pushed the rope through and the monk on retreat acknowledged he had the rope’s other end in his hands. The old Lama then said ‘Ok, good, now carefully tie the rope securely around the Yak’s neck.’ The monk, in great fear, reached over and tied the rope around the wild Yak’s neck and alerted the old Lama. The old Lama: ‘Good, now don’t move.’ The old Lama then quickly pulled on the rope through the tube. The monk on retreat suddenly shouted: ‘Stop, stop, stop! … the rope is around my neck!’. Spontaneously at that moment, the illusion of the angry Yak, his externalized dream of inner fear, anxiety and anger dissolved and vanished in the dark space. The monk felt a profound spacious opening, the negative emotions dissolved and transformed instantly, with a deep sense of peace and calm fully enveloping him.
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Cultivating qualities of inner attentiveness, containment/ sacred ‘space’ with inner Silence
Drawing from this story, some key elements of practice can be seen that can be beneficially integrated into our daily life. We may look at the question of how can we discover this deep space of profound acceptance and inner transformation in our daily life?
- The healing quality of contained, attentive awareness opens an inner door to accepting negative emotions and transforming suppressed energies.
- Inner (and outer) Silence, as a quality of our sacred center, nourishes our inner ‘soulful’ qualities. Much like a carefully attended garden, these qualities need daily tending and ‘watering’.
- Carefully contained spaces and consistent reflective /meditation time are essential.
- Sacred zones, art and altars where we live and work, when possible, give us daily support and nourishment in this inner process.
- Early morning and end of day silent reflective contemplation or meditation provides containment for this inner process.
- Two-or three-minute zones of silence during the day open the door to greater inner peace and outer harmony.
- Daily reading of inspirational sacred texts from the Wisdom Traditions provides guidance and motivation on our inner journey.
We learn gradually to “kiss our inner ‘demons’ or ‘wild Yak’, on the nose” and invite their transformation. These practices give us the open mental/spiritual space where it is possible to make friends with our inner angry wild Yak of anxiety and fear, transforming these lost energies into harmonious qualities for a more peaceful world.
*Retold from a true story shared by Lama Dawa Chodak about a monk on a Dzogchen darkness retreat in Northern India or Nepal in the early 1970’s. Darkness retreat should only be engaged in under the guidance of a qualified teacher.